SugarRush- the feeling one gets in the midst of a proposal
Alright…so you all have agreed that you want to spend forever together and sealed the deal with a shiny ring. Now what?
Please see below for my tips of the first three things you and your partner should do once you’re engaged. It does not necessarily have to be in this order:
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Budget
The wedding industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. The options are endless and if you can dream it, there is a vendor somewhere that can create it for you! But if you chase the fantasy, you will surely go broke or even worse, become in debt. So CUT YOUR COAT ACCORDING TO YOUR SIZE…in other words, plan according to what you I can afford. Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life, but there are aprox. 14,965* more days that you are going to live through, so let’s be wise here.
(*if you’re wondering how I got this number…the average world life expectancy is 71-ish. Average marriage age is 30. (71-30)x 365 days ????)
Weddings in the United States are generally in the $25,000 – $35,000 range. This is an average not a rule! Is it possible to do a wedding for less? ABSOLUTELY, but this provides you with a ballpark figure. Please see below for some additional resources on wedding budgeting:
Average costs in the US and some inspiration- https://money.cnn.com/2018/01/16/pf/wedding-cost/index.html
Average wedding cost by state in the US…if you’re curious- https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/economy/2018/08/22/cost-wedding-every-state-average/37476373/
When Setting Your Wedding Budget I Recommend:
– Looking at how much you both have saved collectively and come to an agreement on the amount of your savings you would like to spend on your special day (please don’t forget to keep some money in your savings for rainy days, honeymoon pocket money, honeymoon babies, etc etc)
– You may also take into consideration the amount of money that you will make collectively between the proposal date and wedding date. Keep in mind that most wedding vendors will need to be paid at least two weeks before the wedding date
– DO NOT RELY ON GIFTS!! A lot of people will come to your wedding just to SEEE what’s happening, but with no gift. Some people may spend a lot of money to attend your wedding and then be unable to give you a gift. So once again CUT YOUR COAT ACCORDING TO YOUR SIZE!! Not according to your expected post-wedding size
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Start Writing Your Guest List
You’ve decided on how much you want to spend on the big day. Now you must decide who is going to witness the big day(s)!
I’ve heard people use so many different metrics and methods to determine who will be on their guest list. Some people say they will only invite people they have spoken to in the last few years. Others will invite any and every person they happen to come into contact with during their wedding planning process. I’m going to plead the fifth on this particular discussion as I believe that this will depend on what you want for your big day as well as what your budget is.
Nonetheless it is crucial that you put all the names in one place. I recommend using an Excel spreadsheet to compile all guest names, mailing addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses. Some use Zola to gather this information from individuals into a spreadsheet. This same spreadsheet can then be used to track who invites have been sent to, RSVP responses, and meal counts.
I also recommend tiering your guest list, which basically means..there’s levels to this (lol)! You have the “you’re family so I don’t have a choice” squad then the “it’s not a celebration without you” crew followed by “squad for life” and so on and so forth. Don’t forget about your mom’s co-workers that have known you since diapers or that one aunt that only calls when there is a family event coming up! I don’t care how great you think your memory is, you’re bound to forget someone when you first attempt to create a guest list, so give yourself time on this one!
You should also take into account the fact that about 10% (sometimes more) of your invited guests will not be able to attend due to other engagements. For this reason, it’s absolutely okay to send invites in waves. I’ll touch on this point again in future posts.
Many people in the African community decide to have celebrations that are not “invitation only”. If this is the path you decide to take, that is fine. BUT I still think it’s important to write a guest list. This will help you come up with an estimated guest count that you can base your planning on. Just basing it on your estimated church’s membership of 200 people isn’t gonna cut it.
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Create a Pinterest Board (or two)
Last, but certainly not least, it’s important to put all of your ideas for the big day in one place. We live in a social media era where we are inundated with images and endless possibilities. Because of this, it can be very hard to articulate what we want. For this, I recommend Pinterest. Pinterest is a world of ideas. I think it’s a great way to see a high-level overview of your dream wedding. Also, having a Pinterest board is a great way to ensure that your vendors actually understand what your vision is and execute accordingly. Otherwise, you may leave too much to interpretation. If you plan on having both a traditional ceremony and a Western “white” wedding, I recommend creating two separate boards. (No, I don’t mean “white” as in the race. I mean “white” as is a white wedding dress. This is a colloquial term that many Africans use when speaking of the Western wedding ceremony).
Check out my Pinterest Page for some inspiration! My latest board is wedding decor and inspiration centered around the Pantone Color of the Year, Living Coral!
I hope you enjoyed this post! Keep sending me messages of what you would like to discuss! We’re just scratching the surface of the fun!
Also, thank you to the beautiful couples that allowed me to use their photos for this post. I can’t wait to join in both of your celebrations later this year!
Toodles for now, SugarBees! <3
