Good Day Beautiful People!
One thing I’ve always promised was to pepper my blog posts with a little culture! Sooooo, the next three posts are going to be a high-level overview of the necessary steps in performing Ghanaian traditional marriage rites.
Step one is the Koo koo ko, also known as the knocking.
What is the koo koo ko or knocking?
The knocking is when the groom’s family goes to see the bride’s family to declare intent to marry a woman in the household. One of the goals for the groom’s family is ensuring that the woman is indeed single and not promised to any other suitor. The second part is asking the bride/her family to wait for the groom’s family to return to perform the traditional marital rites. The groom’s family is saying tell all the other guys that she’s currently unavailable. (similar to a Nigerian introduction)
Who arranges the knocking?
The groom informs his parents, then his parents call the bride’s parents to find a date and time they are available for a “visit”. *wink*
What do you bring to a knocking?
Generally speaking, you never visit someone’s home empty-handed, especially if you’re coming to request something this important of the family! Traditionally, the groom’s family brings schnapps and money with them to present to the family. The schnapps or bottles of liquor are seen as tokens given to the head of the family to request that they open the door for you. In the present day, families who don’t drink substitute schnapps for cases of non-alcoholic beverages.
What comes first? Knocking or Western Proposal (on one knee)?
In Western culture, the guy is encouraged to ask the bride’s father for her hand in marriage. A knocking is essentially that except it’s a family affair. So in my opinion, the knocking should be first. If you’re planning on getting on one knee and your lady knows this, this will probably clue her into the fact that a proposal is coming. For this reason, some men may choose to do a proposal first, then schedule a knocking. Guys- a piece of advice, talk to the lady you’re courting and her friends, so you understand what is most important to her. Women are notorious for dropping hints and men are notorious for overlooking them, so don’t be afraid to ask so you are clearrrrr! I also recommend encouraging her to speak to her family, in a general sense of course, so you can get a feel for how traditional they are when it comes to things like this. If you have a relationship with the family, you may speak to them directly as well. Some families may take offense to you proposing to their daughter without doing a knocking and you don’t want to start on a bad foot!
What’s next?
After the knocking, the bride’s family sends the groom’s family the dowry list and the families agree on the date for the traditional rites!
That’s the gist of the koo koo ko! In the next post, we are going to touch on the infamous dowry list.
Please comment, ask questions, alla that!!
Toodles for now, SugarBees! And please do your part to stay safe!
