Hello Beautiful People! I trust that you all are doing well!
In the last few weeks, there has been a lot of chatter on social media comparing Ghanaian traditional marital rites to “white” weddings. The prevailing question has been whether or not there is a need for both events. Before you give me your answer to this question, let’s make sure we understand what both ceremonies entail.
What are the traditional marital rites?
First and foremost, can y’all do me a favor and stop calling the traditional an engagement? LOL. If we take it back just a little bit, these ceremonies were the way in which our great grandparents, grandparents, and maybe even parents were joined together. This was their wedding, so let’s give it the honor it’s due. 🙂
Generally speaking, this is a ceremony in which the groom’s family visits the bride’s family to officially ask for the bride’s hand in marriage. They come bearing gifts as outlined by the bride’s family (What gifts? Click here for more info). Once the gifts are excepted by the bride and her family, her hand is officially given to her husband’s family.
What is the western/white wedding?
The Western wedding ceremony is most common in the Western World. Because of globalization and the spread of Christianity, we are seeing western ceremonies performed all over the world now. These ceremonies consist of traditions such as the bride coming down the aisle with her father, the bridal party, exchanging vows, something old/new/borrowed/blue, etc. This is also the wedding tradition that generally includes the white wedding gown which is where the colloquial term of “white wedding” comes from. The bride and groom are joined in what is considered “holy matrimony”.
So does a Ghanaian couple need to have both ceremonies? What do you think? My thoughts…below 🙂
My short answer is no.
The longer answer is this is a discussion the couple should have with their family. Although your union is essentially about you and your spouse, for the sake of familial peace, it’s good to get your family’s perspectives, as well. You might be surprised by their response! You also want to discuss this with your church or the officiating minister. For example, for my Church of Pentecost people, your marriage is not observed by the church if rings have not been exchanged and the union blessed by an ordained COP Pastor. You will also be required to go through marriage counseling.
Don’t forget to look into the legal steps necessary for your marriage to be observed in your state or country, as well.
What did I do and why?
My hubby and I decided to have both ceremonies. If it was up to my hubby, we probably would have just had a trad, but there were aspects of the white wedding that were important to me so we decided to have both. Once we started planning, you never would have known hubby was rooting for just a trad. At some points, I felt like he was more into the white wedding planning than the trad, LOL. In addition to our preferences, we realized that performing the traditional marital rites was important to our parents. It was also an awesome opportunity for the two sides to bond. Looking back, I am so happy we decided to have both ceremonies. There are parts of each that are near and dear to my heart. I also loved both of my dresses lol. Even when we decided to downsize due to the pandemic, I still wanted to wear both of my dresses and that’s exactly what I did!
At the end of it all, the decision lays in the lap of the couple. What is your vision for your wedding? What will your budget allow for? What compromises are you willing to make to keep things within the budget?
If you need a checklist as you’re planning one or both of these ceremonies, take a look at the links below:
The Ghanaian Traditional Wedding Checklist
Thank you all for rocking with me! If you have questions, topics of concern, or just want to say hey, please feel free to DM or email me!
Toodles for now, SugarBees!
